A Sharp Uptick in Happiness

I can’t even claim that I’ve been sporadic with these posts - it’s been almost 9 months since the last one. But in my defense, I’ve been busy. Very busy. And very happy. This year has proved to be one of the most fulfilling and happy years of my life. There have been a few hard times, but I think that’s to be expected. In general though, I am extremely pleased with how this year has turned out so far, and I don’t think it’s a fluke. Before I get too deep into that though, for the sake of me reflecting as much as to give you context, I want to go through the myriad of memorable moments this year.

I think the most obvious thing for me is my skydiving. At the beginning of January, I had less that 100 jumps, and it had already been almost a year and a half in the sport. By comparison, in the 10 months since then I’ve completed over 130 jumps, made some very close and good friends, visited 8 new dropzones for the first time, completed my coach rating, spent over an hour in the wind tunnel working on skills and purchased my own gear set. The amount of skydiving of time, effort and money I’ve invested in skydiving in 2016 still impresses even myself - and there’s still 2 and a half months left in the year. But it’s all been so very worth it.

Along the same vein, but definitely of the negative variety, would be the loss of a good friend, Mathew Kenney. I didn’t know him exceptionally well, but he definitely left a lasting impact on me. Upon hearing of his death, I became overwhelmed, and began to question what I was doing with my life, and where my priorities lay. Mat was one of those people who absolutely loved every part of life. He made a very pointed effort to make the most out of every moment he had, and to have fun as much as possible. My reflections about my own life at the time showed me that I wasn’t doing the same. I wasn’t focusing on having fun as much as possible every day, so I decided to make that my theme for the year (read more about that here). In the end, I think explicitly focusing on my happiness has probably turned out to be one of the most impactful and crucial parts of improving how often I am happy.

Having just finished another one this past weekend, I can’t help but mention the 2 Tough Mudders I completed this year. Unlike last year where I signed up and ran alone (though I did meet some people on the course), these two races I had the absolute pleasure to run with some friends, and without a doubt, it enhanced the experience. I definitely feel a much closer bond with Abu, Alycia, Bjorn, Jenny, and Stephen after having completed a Tough Mudder with them, and I am very grateful for how those friendships have developed. I got an opportunity to push myself, but also to learn a lot about the friends I ran the race with. I highly, highly recommend signing up for and doing a Tough Mudder with some friends - you’ll come out the other side so much richer for it.

Despite both 2014 and 2015 having some pretty major international excursions for me, and not being able to travel abroad as much as I would have liked this year, I did get a chance to do a bit of domestic traveling. A few road trips to Los Angeles, some time down in Pheonix and Eloy in Arizona, some time up in the countryside north of Sacramento and near Lake Tahoe, a trip out to Yosemite, and a bit of time driving through northern Washington. None of these trips were necessarily long ones - most of them being even as short as a long weekend - but they were all for an enjoyable purpose.

Of course, I left out the most important trip I took this year. I had the honour of being present at my best friend Jon’s wedding. I spent a week and a bit in what I can only describe as pure bliss. Between the hiking, swimming, barbecuing, kayaking and relaxing with an amazing group of people. Many good times were had, and in the end, the wedding proved to be a beautiful ceremony between two people I care a lot about. Jon and Elizabeth, you guys truly are a blessing to have in my life.

I think the final thing that has had such a large impact on my happiness this year is my therapy. I have been, for the most part, going to therapy once a week since January and it has been revelatory. I’ve learned so much about the way I think and act. I’ve had opportunities to rant and get things off my chest, but also to sit and listen and think and reflect on advice. I’ve learned that first and foremost, I have to be able to live with myself and, ideally, enjoy the way I live. It’s helped tremendously in refocusing myself and in thinking differently about the issues I face and what I’m doing with my life.

For me, the main recurring theme between all of these, good or bad, is how I approached the situation with the mindset of actively trying to do things that were explicitly in my best interest and that I wanted to do. To be clear, I gave myself permission to decide to do or not do things based on whether or not I wanted to and whether or not I would enjoy doing so - even for some larger, more impactful decisions. Now, I’ve definitely still tried to be future minded in a sense that I haven’t made these decisions with only immediate gratification as the measure, but I definitely moved the dial significantly towards the current satisfaction side of the spectrum because I realized that, for me at least, I felt I could justify the long term tradeoffs.

I would definitely say that, with respect to an average day, I am happier now, and I have a higher quality of life now (by my own personal standards) than I did previously. Thank you to everyone in my life who has helped to shape this change in my life over the course of this year.