Oh What A Change!

Have you ever thought things were going well for you, only to find out how much better things had yet to get? I was initially focused on the activities I was partaking in, the circumstances of my life, and all that I had to be thankful for. That has since changed quite a bit.

When I matched her on a dating app, it had already been almost 2 months since I had even opened the app on my phone. A match was the last thing I was expecting. But there was her profile. And the crazy thing was that even after such a long time, I actually recognized the profile right away. The fun, sassy tone of her profile really connected with me, and I decided to take the plunge.

The moment I realized that I was interested in her, and that there could actually be something between us was just before our second date. It was the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend, and we were supposed to go have some burgers at Eureka’s in Berkeley at 7:30PM. She texted me at 6:13PM (I don’t know how I remember that, but I do) to tell me that her friend had informed her incorrectly of the day of their graduation ceremony, and to ask to reschedule. I was definitely disappointed at having the evening cancelled last minute, but scheduling conflicts do happen, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and told her that it was all good, and that I wished her friend good luck and congratulations on the graduation. I hadn’t even gotten around to suggesting we reschedule before she sent me a message that blew me away. Her message read:

Do you want to do breakfast or brunch tomorrow?

That simple message conveyed several things to me:

• That she is at least somewhat interested in me
• That her event that night really did catch her off guard and she isn’t a flaky person
• That when she does have to cancel plans, she will actually reschedule

After a delicious and entertaining brunch the next day, was followed by heading up for a long weekend of fun in the sun with some friends. I didn’t want that weekend to come to a close, even after returning from a very busy few days, so I decided to text her to see if we could setup something impromptu as a way for me to wind down. To my surprise, she agreed to spending a few hours getting some Koja Kitchen. It was the perfect ending to an absolutely amazing weekend.

One thing that’s become apparent to me as a result of past experiences is that I don’t notice hints and am not really able to read between the lines. I don’t do well with subtle forms of communication at all - in order for me to be able to follow, I need the communication to be clearly verbalized and explicit. Early on, I made it very clear that I would be putting a lot of effort into ensuring that my communication would be very clear and explicit, and that I expected and needed the same. Since meeting her, and throughout the time that I’ve spent with her, she’s been extremely communicative and open with me. It’s personally very reassuring to know that any discomfort I can feel I can openly talk to her about it without judgement and to know that whenever something is bothering her, she will talk to me about it, giving us both an opportunity to react in a constructive way.

Being around her, simply put, feels welcoming and normal. I can express my true inner dork, be cheesy and romantic, calm and calculating, or goofy and aloof. Around her, any and all of the above are encouraged. She is inspiring and dedicated, brilliant and beautiful, exciting and full of life, understanding and selfless, caring and thoughtful. We’ve had our moments where we’ve had to stop and discuss something that we haven’t agreed on, but our relationship is a work in progress (and a good one at that).

We’ve been volunteering, cooked homemade Filipino foods, had a picnic and seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, toured Berkeley campus, been to a poetry open mic night (which she did absolutely fantastic in), had delicious sushi followed by an amazing Jazz show, and so much more. We’ve got a roadtrip to Portland coming up next weekend, and I’m so excited to travel and experience new things with her.

I’ve begun learning that just when I think things are going well in my life, she has an innate ability to make them so much better.

Thank you so much!

fa tɔʙa tɔme