Online Dating Profile Tips

I recently had a discussion with some friends about online dating, and what some people use for profile photos, specifically, why certain people’s profiles were simply insufficient, or boring/uninteresting/unimpressive. Since then, I’ve been paying significantly more attention to the substance of individual photos on profiles I encounter, and noticing a lot of different things.

Obviously, these are nothing but my opinions, and I don’t exactly have any major level of success with any of online dating by any means. Something else to note is that depending on what you are looking for, your level of importance for different things in a profile may change and vary. I would generally say that these suggestions are moreso geared towards people looking for some form of extended dating or relationship, and those looking for anything else might not necessarily gain as much benefit out of these. I’ll start by mentioning some pet peeves I have, both with photos and with profile content, and ways that, in my opinion, you can improve the quality of your profile.

I don’t want to have to guess which person in the picture is you

It’s okay to have 1, maybe 2 photos of you with more than one other person in the picture, but in general, the large majority (read that as 75% or more) of the photos on your profile should be strictly of you. I’m really glad you have friends, but I am not looking at your pictures to determine if you have friends. I am looking at them to determine if I am attracted to you and to get a glimpse into important or exciting parts of your life. I don’t want to have to scroll through 5 photos just to find one of just you, and then compare that against every other photo to figure out which one is you. Also, the first picture on your profile should not ever be anything other than just you.

Don’t use the same pose in every picture

You may have ‘a good side’ for pictures, or you may simply have a subconscious tendency to always make the same pose when you prepare for a picture. Either way, when you are choosing your dating profile pictures, make an effort to show yourself doing a variety of things and/or in a variety of poses. Otherwise, all those pictures are redundant and effectively useless to me. Regardless of whether you are using these dating apps to find someone or for no other reason than to give yourself a big ego boost (by the way, if this is you, I hate you), the purpose of your profile is to impress me enough to get me to indicate interest. Redundant pictures are boring, and won’t get you anywhere.

I’m not dating the landscape

Everybody loves to post pictures of their travels. I’m guilty of this as much as the next person. Travel is exciting, and showing people photos of you in places around the world that you’ve visited is a great way to show people that it is an important thing to you. That being said, photos in which you are barely visible, or I can’t see your face (e.g. you are facing away from the camera) aren’t helpful. I’m glad you traveled there, but many people have photos of themselves traveling, and not being able to see your face makes the picture of no interest to me for the purpose of determining whether or not to like/message you. I’m happy to take a look at those later if/when you want to talk about and discuss your travels, but for the dating profile, let’s leave it to pictures where I can actually see you and your face.

Tell me about your hobbies and interests

This can be done either via your pictures, your profile content, or both. This tip is also especially important for girls to do if they are looking for an introductory message that consists of more than “Hi, how has your week been?” or other similarly boring or unimaginative opening messages. I’m not a mind reader, so unless you can show me something in your profile that intrigues me enough to warrant more details, I won’t know where to start, and in general, I will probably just not message you because I hate those awkward openers as much as you do. Including just one or two things isn’t sufficient either. If you tell me you enjoy walks in the park, and sitting at coffee shops, then I don’t really have anything compelling to ask about. Am I supposed to ask you which parks or coffee shops are your favorite? I’m cringing right now just thinking about asking that as an opener. Make sure your profile includes something at least slightly unique.

Make sure your profile isn’t identical to everyone else I come across

This one takes a little work, and it’s even something I haven’t done much of yet, but I definitely plan on giving it a go. Do a little research into your competition, and make sure you don’t repeat the same thing everyone else has on their profile. Get a friend who is in the demographic you are trying to match with, and use their profile to take a look at the people you are competing against. It’s absolutely unbelievable the number of profiles I come across that include something along the lines of “I appreciate when my date makes me laugh” or “Looking for someone who enjoys staying in as much as they like going out”. (Note: These examples are somewhat specific to Coffee Meets Bagel in the wording, but my point still stands). When I come across a profile that has one of these extremely overused lines, the first thought that comes to my head is “Great, so you’re generic. What else?”. By contrast, a profile that includes something unique (even if slightly controversial) usually elicits a response like “At least you are your own person and own it” at worst, and at best generates intrigue and interest.

In short, make your profile about the many different and interesting aspects of you. What do you REALLY like doing? What are you REALLY looking for? How or why are you more interesting, and more of a catch than the next person I’ll come across? I’m not perfect, and my profile is far from it as well, but let’s try to move away for the cookie cutter profiles that make everyone seem the same…

What online dating profile tips or pet peeves do you have? What is it in a profile that catches and keeps your attention and interest? I’d love to hear some of your thoughts (and god knows I could probably benefit from implementing some of them). Thanks for reading!